The convenience of dating apps and the massive amount of people you can meet on them have changed the dating game forever. But with all the good dating apps can do, they can also make life hella complicated. Say, for instance, you're going about your happily coupled-up life when you discover your partner is still on a dating app, even though they're in a relationship with you. ~Record scratch.~ You're probably wondering what the person you believed to be very much off the market is doing swiping left and right. In a case like this, Eric Resnick, a professional dating profile writer and online dating coach, tells Elite Daily you shouldn't panic. Studies have shown that a significant portion of young people use dating apps as a distraction or confidence boost, rather than to actually meet someone. Your partner popping up on Hinge could just be a result of their desire for external validation.

Nevertheless, get to the bottom of things and ask your partner why they're still on a dating app when they're clearly in a relationship with you. Here's how the experts suggest approaching this oh-so-modern and not uncommon dating issue.

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What Your Partner's Dating Profile Means For Your Relationship

When you first discover your partner on a dating app, whether you find out through a friend who found them or a spontaneous swiping spree of your own, it’s important to keep an open mind and not jump to the worst conclusions. As Julie Spira, online dating expert and author of Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships tells Elite Daily, there may be a handful of reasons why they're popping up.

How To Find Dating Profile

“[It could be that] they deleted their profile from their phone but didn't deactivate it,” she says. “This falls into the category of digital housekeeping. Not everyone knows exactly how to permanently delete a dating profile. I've even seen profiles of people who were happily married who had no idea their profile was still lingering on a dating app. If this is the case, your partner should download the app again, and together, change the settings to delete the dating app, instead of just removing it,” she explains.

It could also be what Resnick suggested: They're just looking at profiles with no intention of engaging. But Spira says this behavior could be a bad sign when it comes to the ongoing health of your relationship. “This activity probably means they're questioning your relationship, [or] wondering who else is out there,” she explains. “This is a form of emotional cheating, but it isn't the end of the world. If this is the case, it's time to communicate about what your partner likes about your relationship and address areas that could be improved.”

If your partner is 'actively matching, chatting, and meeting others behind your back,” Spira says this can be considered cheating 'unless you've agreed to an open relationship.” Ultimately, there's only one way to determine which of these scenarios you’re dealing with: Talk to them about it.

Now What?

How you approach the issue will depend largely on the nature of your relationship. “Are you still in that getting-to-know-you phase, or have you become exclusive?' Resnick asks. 'If it's the former, just let it be. You haven't committed to each other and what they do isn't your business.” If it still bothers you, Resnick says you may want more from the relationship, and it may be time to talk to the person you're dating about where you stand. “If you decide that it's time to go exclusive, then you can ask if they are still on any dating sites,' he suggests. 'It is not uncommon for people in a relationship to ceremonially delete their dating accounts together.”

If you're already exclusive and find your partner's profile is still active, Diana Dorell intuitive dating coach and author ofThe Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again, says having an honest conversation about what you found is important. “Decide what you want to do about it. If you want to keep the relationship, then a calm, cool approach is best,” she tells Elite Daily.

One tactic all the experts say to avoid is catfishing. Don’t make a fake profile just to try messaging your partner and seeing if they respond. “No one wants to be with a partner who's a stalker, and before you start accusing your steady beau of cheating, you should try to find out what's going on,” says Spira. “Know that if you create a fake profile to catch them in the act, you can kiss your relationship goodbye.”

How To Approach Your Partner.

Once you've taken a deep breath and feel ready to talk to your partner, Dorell suggests considering what you want to achieve with the conversation so you can be intentional in your approach. “Decide what it is you want. Is it to feel heard? For them to admit it so you don't feel crazy? To break up?' She says before making any sort of accusations, gather evidence. Screenshots or their open dating app profile work here.

Spira says to be direct. “If you've agreed to be exclusive, and you've both taken down your profiles, I recommend you say the following: ‘My friend [insert name] was swiping right on Tinder, and somehow she got matched with you.’ Then show your partner the screenshot, and button your lips, because it's time to listen to the explanation,' she says.

Dorell agrees it's essential to give your partner plenty of space to respond. “Pay attention to your intuition. You'll know if they are lying because your body will tell you,' she explains. 'Your job in this conversation is to get to the truth and that's something you'll know within you. Then, you can decide what you want to do next.”

Ultimately, it will be up to you and your partner to determine what happens next. Maybe they'll log in, delete their profile once and for all, and you can proceed as you were. On the other hand, you might decide to go your separate ways and move on. The key is to trust your intuition and do what feels right for you.

“If you find out your partner has a second life on a dating app, know that you're not alone,' says Spira. 'It takes a few minutes to create or reactivate a dating profile, and if you're not their one-and-only, about 50 million plus other singles are waiting to meet you.” Hang in there, you've got this.

You can tell a lot about a guy by what he has on his dating profile because what a guy decides to put on there has everything to do with the kind of person he is. If the guy you’re about to swipe right with on Tinder has any of these 14 things on his dating profile, I’m going to go ahead and make a bold declaration: he’s definitely no good.

He Only Has Group Pictures.
There’s nothing wrong with having a couple group pictures on your dating profile. Maybe, for whatever reason, he’s not the kind of narcissist who spends a lot of time taking pictures of himself. That’s fine, but having nothing but group pics is annoying because it’s hard for swipers (AKA you) to know who the hell he is. He doesn’t like taking selfies? He’s weird.

He Only Has Pictures Of Himself.
Having nothing but group pics is annoying, but so is having nothing but selfies. Like, does he not have any friends? Family? Why is he always alone? What is he hiding? It also makes you wonder if those photos are actually of him or if he’s stolen them from another stranger on the internet.

He’s Basically Naked In Every Picture.
Okay, so he has some selfies on his profile. What kind of selfies are they? Are they mirror pictures of him shirtless at the gym that he’s clearly saved via Snapchat and uploaded onto his dating profile? Pass!

There Are Girls In His Pictures.
Sure, he could be posing with his sister or maybe a young aunt but you don’t know that for sure. For all you know, the woman he’s hugging is his ex-girlfriend, current girlfriend, or recent sex buddy. Real talk: Why would he post a picture with another girl on his dating profile? It’s like he’s already trying to make you jealous.

There’s A Baby In His Picture.
Honestly, if he’s a single dad, he needs to hop off Tinder and sign up for eHarmony. If he’s not a dad and that baby isn’t his, why the hell is it (sorry, he or she) in one of his pictures?

His Bio Is Too Short.
Most dating apps (at least last time I checked) require you to put a little something in the bio. Now, I’m not saying his bio has to be lengthy and filled with an impressive vocabulary but it should have enough information on it for you to understand who he is (or at least who he’s posing to be). If all his bio says is, “Nice guy,” I’m going to take a wild guess and assume he’s not a nice guy. Run!

He Talks With Emojis.
Emojis are meant to work with words, not in place of them. If his bio consists of nothing but emojis, he sucks. And if his bio has a few words but he also puts a peace sign emoji, a middle finger emoji, the avocado emoji, the tongue emoji, or any other tool-ish emoji, he also sucks.

He Can’t Seem To Spell.
Once again, his bio doesn’t have to be a Shakespearean novel but if it’s riddled with spelling errors, go ahead and swipe left. Do you really want a guy who can’t spell? Especially because it wasn’t like he had to quickly get this bio up. He had time to write a little draft, maybe send it to some friends to review, and then post it. All of that and you’re telling me he still has spelling errors?! Ugh, no thank you.

His Bio Says, “I’m Here To Find Love.”
Calm down, guy. This isn’t “The Bachelor.” Anyone who says that is either lying or desperate, and neither one is a good look.

His Bio Says, “I’m Not Here For Hookups.”
That’s nice of him to say but it’s also a little unnecessary because 1) he’s clearly here for hookups and 2) HE’S HERE FOR HOOKUPS!

How To Find Someone's Dating Profile

He Mentions His Height.
If his bio includes his race, gender, height, weight, etc. he’s doing the most. Clearly from his pictures, you can see that he’s a skinny white guy with more fat than muscle. WTF is the point of that?

He Uses The Word “Entrepreneur.”
Raise your hand if you’re tired of guys identifying themselves as ENTREPRENEURS. Everyone’s hand should be raised because what does that even mean? “Entrepreneur.” It should mean that he owns his own company but that’s rarely, if ever, the case. For whatever reason, people call themselves “entrepreneurs” because it sounds better than “unemployed.”

He References His College Life.
If “Jake” is 26-years-old but has his fraternity symbol in his bio OR some of his pictures are of him in college with his frat, “Jake” has a problem. And we can guarantee you it’s not a problem you can, or would want, to fix.

He’s Trying Too Hard.
Take a hard look at his dating profile as a whole. Look at all of his pictures, his bio, and just the entire vibe he’s created for himself. Does it seem like he’s trying too hard to convince swipers that he’s a “good guy”? Trust your gut—if something about his face and words seems disingenuous, swipe left until you find a real one!

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